As many know, I had a stroke in 2013. In many ways I recovered, but I am still left with some quite severe impairments. It is hard to know if some of these are just me getting older or are due to the stroke.
Poor balance and giddiness are with me most of the time. My voice is poor and I get very frustrated when some people treat me as being a simpleton. Also frustrating is being unable to speak, as I used to, to put over my point of view. Just joining in casual chats is hard. Often it would be hard to get my point across, so I say nothing. When speaking to others I often have to repeat myself.
My comprehension of time and speed are different. When driving at a certain speed it feels, to me, as if I am driving much faster: the dial says 45mph whereas it feels like 60mph! Likewise my perception of time is different: time seems to pass more quickly. The bus ride to Cambridge takes an hour, but to me it seems much faster.
Now, it is hard to know if these are just old age or artifacts of my stroke.
What it has told me is that what we perceive as individuals is different. On the BBC radio today someone said that our perception of colour is in the mind: how one person sees the world differs from others.
All this brings me to one thought. What is reality?
Time and space we take for granted, but these could be illusions. Likewise, we assume past memories are real. One thing is certain: how we see the world is limited by our brains.
25 Feb 2020
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