As I am 70 later this year, I am not sure if this is just old age or yet another after-effect of my 2013 stroke. The worst time of the day for me is after breakfast. Even though I usually sleep well I am always, without fail, very exhausted. After a rest of about 30 minutes, when I usually blog, I am OK.
Another thing I have noticed: I seem weaker. Yesterday we cleaned our carpets and this totally exhausted me. I wasn't so tired last year. Lifting the carpet cleaner felt about twice as hard. Now, this may just be old age, but I think it is something linked to my 2013 stroke.
Showing posts with label stroke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stroke. Show all posts
12 Jun 2018
21 May 2018
Stroke? - NOT amateur radio
This has probably been mentioned here before, so I apologise if I am repeating myself.
One thing I am aware of is how fast things seem to be going on the roads. When I am going 50mph it feels at least 60mph. Indeed I feel like I am going 70mph. Then I see a huge queue behind me! I am only too aware that I drive more slowly than I did. It feels embarrassing, but cannot safely drive faster.
OK I am growing older and becoming a grumpy old man. Maybe it is an age thing, but it as if my brain operates at a slower pace. I also find watching subtitles on TV hard work. Usually I give up!
It feels like the recovery from my stroke has stalled.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke .
One thing I am aware of is how fast things seem to be going on the roads. When I am going 50mph it feels at least 60mph. Indeed I feel like I am going 70mph. Then I see a huge queue behind me! I am only too aware that I drive more slowly than I did. It feels embarrassing, but cannot safely drive faster.
OK I am growing older and becoming a grumpy old man. Maybe it is an age thing, but it as if my brain operates at a slower pace. I also find watching subtitles on TV hard work. Usually I give up!
It feels like the recovery from my stroke has stalled.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke .
27 Mar 2018
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
Not much seems to have changed recently, so this update still applies.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke
21 Mar 2018
Hidden disabilities - NOT amateur radio
Like many, since my stroke in 2013 I have had a hidden disability. Many say, "you do look well" or similar. Indeed to most people I look just fine.
What few realise is that for over 4 years I have felt unbelievably giddy when on my feet. Looking up is dreadful for me. It is like being permanently drunk. Just walking along a pavement (sidewalk) can be troublesome. Crossing a roads is a nightmare. Rushing along is now very hard. Add to that my voice is now very poor. Just chatting is now much harder to the point that I rarely start a chat because others will probably not understand. I'll have to repeat myself, which is exhausting.
Others too may have impairments that are hidden, making people think there is nothing wrong. To coin a well known expression, "never judge a book by its cover". Other people may well be fighting a battle inside that we cannot see or experience. Never, ever, under-estimate the struggles others may have to deal with.
One thing I have learnt is never judge others. Inside they may be having a very rough time, be it physical or mental.
What few realise is that for over 4 years I have felt unbelievably giddy when on my feet. Looking up is dreadful for me. It is like being permanently drunk. Just walking along a pavement (sidewalk) can be troublesome. Crossing a roads is a nightmare. Rushing along is now very hard. Add to that my voice is now very poor. Just chatting is now much harder to the point that I rarely start a chat because others will probably not understand. I'll have to repeat myself, which is exhausting.
Others too may have impairments that are hidden, making people think there is nothing wrong. To coin a well known expression, "never judge a book by its cover". Other people may well be fighting a battle inside that we cannot see or experience. Never, ever, under-estimate the struggles others may have to deal with.
One thing I have learnt is never judge others. Inside they may be having a very rough time, be it physical or mental.
27 Feb 2018
Joining the dots - NOT amateur radio
This may be because I am getting older or an artefact following my 2013 stroke.
Sometimes I mishear things or simply misunderstand and my brain tries to make sense of it by subconsciously "joining up the dots". Sometimes I completely get the "wrong end of the stick". Today, I misunderstood my wife saying an old friend was coming tomorrow afternoon when in fact he was coming this morning. I guess this happens several times a week.
The moral is to make sure I heard correctly and don't interpret things incorrectly. At times my brain plays tricks.
Sometimes I mishear things or simply misunderstand and my brain tries to make sense of it by subconsciously "joining up the dots". Sometimes I completely get the "wrong end of the stick". Today, I misunderstood my wife saying an old friend was coming tomorrow afternoon when in fact he was coming this morning. I guess this happens several times a week.
The moral is to make sure I heard correctly and don't interpret things incorrectly. At times my brain plays tricks.
27 Jan 2018
Giddiness - NOT amateur radio
11 Jan 2018
Laziness or exhaustion? - NOT amateur radio
Quite a few people mistake my behaviour for laziness when I am actually totally exhausted. My worst time is after breakfast in the morning, when I feel totally drained. You would expect after a good night's sleep I would be at my best. After a rest of about 30 minutes I feel quite a bit better. On my feet I am always giddy.
My stroke 4 years ago left me largely unscathed but my voice is poor and I get tired (no, exhausted) after any form of physical or mental exertion. I very much wish things were better, but I think I need to reset my expectations: improvements are still to be had and many say my tiredness is due to my brain trying to rewire itself.
Sadly, I am unable to do many of the things I once could. This does not mean I can't live a full and interesting life though. Onwards and upwards!
My stroke 4 years ago left me largely unscathed but my voice is poor and I get tired (no, exhausted) after any form of physical or mental exertion. I very much wish things were better, but I think I need to reset my expectations: improvements are still to be had and many say my tiredness is due to my brain trying to rewire itself.
Sadly, I am unable to do many of the things I once could. This does not mean I can't live a full and interesting life though. Onwards and upwards!
2 Jan 2018
Exhaustion - NOT amateur radio
By the time I got home I was totally exhausted, even though the walk was probably only about 1.5 miles. I feel giddy all the time when on my feet. It is impossible to explain my giddiness and exhaustion to others. After 4 years of this I have given up trying: one just has to make the best of things.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke .
15 Dec 2017
Desperately tired - NOT amateur radio
It is nearly 4 years since I was discharged from hospital, where I had been for 3.5 months following my stroke. In many ways I am lucky. However 15-20 minutes of physical or mental effort leaves me desperately tired. Others just do not "get it". My tiredness is utterly draining and then I am fine again. My voice is poor too.
Although I am still hopeful of further small improvements, I suspect how I am is how I am going to be. In the meantime, I still enjoy life. We are dealt a card in life and have to make the best of it.
Although I am still hopeful of further small improvements, I suspect how I am is how I am going to be. In the meantime, I still enjoy life. We are dealt a card in life and have to make the best of it.
11 Nov 2017
Giddiness - NOT amateur radio
It is over 4 years since my stroke. Whenever I am on my feet I feel giddy and drunk. By now, I was hoping this would have got better, but it seems this is how I am going to be for ever. I can manage, but I feel way below how I once was.
At the same time others say, "you do look well". That is the problem: appearances deceive. I do look fine and normal, but others do not realise what a struggle ordinary things are.
At the same time others say, "you do look well". That is the problem: appearances deceive. I do look fine and normal, but others do not realise what a struggle ordinary things are.
7 Oct 2017
Life "on the edge" - NOT amateur radio
Often, I find it hard to explain to others just how I feel inside having had a stroke 4 years ago. Outwardly I look well and "normal".
And yet I feel giddy when on my feet all the time and I get tired very quickly. The best way I can describe life is "on the edge". My voice is very poor and I find verbal communications hard these days.
In many ways I am lucky. Inside though I still feel well below "normal".
I am not looking for sympathy, but I do feel frustrated and quite understand how hard it must be for others with hidden disabilities. People may be suffering inside when you don't realise.
And yet I feel giddy when on my feet all the time and I get tired very quickly. The best way I can describe life is "on the edge". My voice is very poor and I find verbal communications hard these days.
In many ways I am lucky. Inside though I still feel well below "normal".
I am not looking for sympathy, but I do feel frustrated and quite understand how hard it must be for others with hidden disabilities. People may be suffering inside when you don't realise.
21 Jul 2017
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
Some are interested to know how I am progressing since my stroke in September 2013.
Well, things are much the same: I still feel very tired (no, exhausted) after quite brief physical or mental exertion - normally this is after about 15-20 minutes. My voice is poor.
I am able to drive, but I estimate it is now about 5 times harder. I also drive slower as 50mph seems like 70 mph. It is as if my brain takes longer to process things. Also, subtitles seem to change too fast and I find it hard to keep up.
Although most foods are fine, I take an age with drinks, especially tea and coffee. For some reason cold drinks are easier.
Daft things are I find spelling harder, my writing is poor now and I feel tired much of the time. I think I get more anxious too.
Outwardly, I look "well". Others do not realise that life is a real struggle most of the time.
Overall, I find it hard to see improvements now. In most ways I feel like I did a year ago.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke
Well, things are much the same: I still feel very tired (no, exhausted) after quite brief physical or mental exertion - normally this is after about 15-20 minutes. My voice is poor.
I am able to drive, but I estimate it is now about 5 times harder. I also drive slower as 50mph seems like 70 mph. It is as if my brain takes longer to process things. Also, subtitles seem to change too fast and I find it hard to keep up.
Although most foods are fine, I take an age with drinks, especially tea and coffee. For some reason cold drinks are easier.
Daft things are I find spelling harder, my writing is poor now and I feel tired much of the time. I think I get more anxious too.
Outwardly, I look "well". Others do not realise that life is a real struggle most of the time.
Overall, I find it hard to see improvements now. In most ways I feel like I did a year ago.
See https://sites.google.com/site/g3xbmqrp3/stroke
10 Jun 2017
Yet more stroke artefacts - NOT amateur radio
Yet another after-effect of my 2013 stroke is that I am less able to see spelling errors. In the past I'd just look at a word and know the spelling was wrong. These days I find it much harder to see these. It is as if my brain is functioning differently.
Also, I drive slower than in the past and worry more in general. Stroke (?), although I am getting older anyway.
Inference is different too, often seeing potential dangers that others miss. What is hard to tell is, "is this real?".
Even nearly 4 years after the stroke, I still have effects - I still feel giddy on my feet, thin liquids are a problem and my voice is poor. I get tired easily too.
Also, I drive slower than in the past and worry more in general. Stroke (?), although I am getting older anyway.
Inference is different too, often seeing potential dangers that others miss. What is hard to tell is, "is this real?".
Even nearly 4 years after the stroke, I still have effects - I still feel giddy on my feet, thin liquids are a problem and my voice is poor. I get tired easily too.
22 May 2017
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
One of the side effects of my stroke in 2013 is that I get totally exhausted doing anything physical or mental for about 15-20 minutes.
My worst time, normally, is just after breakfast when I am "done in" and have to rest. After a short rest I am OK. I much regret being as I am, but it has left me with a great deal of sympathy for those with conditions like ME and MS. Before, I had no idea what total exhaustion meant.
Today, I put some plants in the garden. In the past this would have been trivial, but I was totally exhausted and had to rest to recover. It is very hard for others to understand.
My worst time, normally, is just after breakfast when I am "done in" and have to rest. After a short rest I am OK. I much regret being as I am, but it has left me with a great deal of sympathy for those with conditions like ME and MS. Before, I had no idea what total exhaustion meant.
Today, I put some plants in the garden. In the past this would have been trivial, but I was totally exhausted and had to rest to recover. It is very hard for others to understand.
26 Apr 2017
More stroke news - NOT amateur radio
No-one, and I really do mean no-one, seems to understand how I am inside. Most of the time when on my feet I feel giddy and exhausted, but outwardly I look well. I cannot begin to explain how hard this is.
Anything mental or physical taking over 15-20 minutes and I am done in - totally exhausted. Until my stroke I had no idea what total exhaustion was. After a rest I am back to "normal".
My short-term memory is also poorer. It is now over 3.5 years since my cerebellum brain bleed, but I think there has been little improvement over the last year or so. Walking on pavements with traffic is very hard.
In many ways my symptoms mirror those of M.E. in that I feel profoundly tired at times, a tiredness like nothing I have ever had to deal with before my stroke. What is so disappointing is there is little sign of any improvement. I struggle on, but it is very tough.
Anything mental or physical taking over 15-20 minutes and I am done in - totally exhausted. Until my stroke I had no idea what total exhaustion was. After a rest I am back to "normal".
My short-term memory is also poorer. It is now over 3.5 years since my cerebellum brain bleed, but I think there has been little improvement over the last year or so. Walking on pavements with traffic is very hard.
In many ways my symptoms mirror those of M.E. in that I feel profoundly tired at times, a tiredness like nothing I have ever had to deal with before my stroke. What is so disappointing is there is little sign of any improvement. I struggle on, but it is very tough.
20 Apr 2017
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
It is now over 3.5 years since my cerebellum brain bleed. In all honesty, I never doubted a full recovery, so it is really disappointing that my voice is still very poor, I am still giddy when walking and that I get tired so quickly.
Other subtle effects are that I think others say one thing and I find they said something else. I find driving much harder nowadays. Often people don't understand me when I speak and I find it very tiring repeating myself. I am more emotional than I was and in many ways I must be harder to live with.
In many ways I'm lucky not to have more serious disabilities. My main problem is others think I am fully OK - indeed I look fine - but inside I still feel unwell.
Improvements, if they are still happening, are now very slow and hard to see. Still, I am grateful that most of me still works. Life goes on: I never give up.
Other subtle effects are that I think others say one thing and I find they said something else. I find driving much harder nowadays. Often people don't understand me when I speak and I find it very tiring repeating myself. I am more emotional than I was and in many ways I must be harder to live with.
In many ways I'm lucky not to have more serious disabilities. My main problem is others think I am fully OK - indeed I look fine - but inside I still feel unwell.
Improvements, if they are still happening, are now very slow and hard to see. Still, I am grateful that most of me still works. Life goes on: I never give up.
12 Mar 2017
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
It is some time since I updated readers on the after-effects of my 2013 stroke. So, here goes.
The worst effects are I still feel very giddy when walking, tire easily and my voice is poor.
And yet, 3.5 years after my stroke I am still making small improvements. I feel better able to do up buttons. Also, I feel my basic core strength is, maybe, just a little stronger. Improvements are hard to detect now.
Yet, even now, I am becoming aware of some after-effects that I'd not been "tuned into". One of these is I find it harder to follow sub-titles on foreign films. It is as if I don't have enough time.
My wife thinks some of my problems are "in the mind". For example, although I feel giddy when walking I have never once fallen. By now, I thought my brain would have "rewired".
Compared with before my stroke, I still feel very ill. My hope is that my tiredness is linked to the giddiness and that this can be fixed.
The worst effects are I still feel very giddy when walking, tire easily and my voice is poor.
And yet, 3.5 years after my stroke I am still making small improvements. I feel better able to do up buttons. Also, I feel my basic core strength is, maybe, just a little stronger. Improvements are hard to detect now.
Yet, even now, I am becoming aware of some after-effects that I'd not been "tuned into". One of these is I find it harder to follow sub-titles on foreign films. It is as if I don't have enough time.
My wife thinks some of my problems are "in the mind". For example, although I feel giddy when walking I have never once fallen. By now, I thought my brain would have "rewired".
Compared with before my stroke, I still feel very ill. My hope is that my tiredness is linked to the giddiness and that this can be fixed.
19 Feb 2017
Stroke Update - NOT amateur radio
Sadly, no real improvement in the last year. I still feel very giddy when on my feet, tire easily, my voice is poor, and I stress more easily than before. Although I drive it is much harder than before my stroke. Overall, I have plateaued.
Life is hard, but could be worse.
My main problem is people think I am fine. Inside I feel very unwell, but outwardly I look well.
Life is hard, but could be worse.
My main problem is people think I am fine. Inside I feel very unwell, but outwardly I look well.
25 Dec 2016
Stroke update - NOT amateur radio
Over 3 years on now, and I am still affected by my stroke.
My main issues remain my poor voice, drinks, and giddiness/tiredness when on my feet. Overall, I am frustrated, although I know the sooner I come to terms with the new "me" the better. I feel unable to do the things that once would have been so easy. Compared with many I came off lightly. Outwardly, I look fully recovered, which is probably why I feel so frustrated. If there are now any improvements, they are painfully slow.
Nobody, and I really mean nobody, really understands: doctors and others think they understand, but they do not. For years now I have been living a sort of half-life.
My main issues remain my poor voice, drinks, and giddiness/tiredness when on my feet. Overall, I am frustrated, although I know the sooner I come to terms with the new "me" the better. I feel unable to do the things that once would have been so easy. Compared with many I came off lightly. Outwardly, I look fully recovered, which is probably why I feel so frustrated. If there are now any improvements, they are painfully slow.
Nobody, and I really mean nobody, really understands: doctors and others think they understand, but they do not. For years now I have been living a sort of half-life.
18 Dec 2016
Stroke and taste - NOT amateur radio
It is fascinating (as well as very frustrating!) how my stroke 3 years ago is still affecting me. The worst aspects are feeling giddy all the time when on my feet (I think the giddiness makes me tired), poor voice and taking a long time with drinks.
My taste is also affected. Before my stroke, I always had a little sugar in tea and coffee. These taste sweet in their "naked" form these days, so no sugar is added.
Most people say how well I look and they are pleased I can do so much. This is how I look on the outside. Inside me it still feels odd. I'd be very pleased to return to the "normal", pre-stroke me, but I guess I have to come to terms with the "me" I am. No, things are still very difficult.
My taste is also affected. Before my stroke, I always had a little sugar in tea and coffee. These taste sweet in their "naked" form these days, so no sugar is added.
Most people say how well I look and they are pleased I can do so much. This is how I look on the outside. Inside me it still feels odd. I'd be very pleased to return to the "normal", pre-stroke me, but I guess I have to come to terms with the "me" I am. No, things are still very difficult.
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