Total exhaustion - NOT amateur radio

Things are far harder for me nowadays. Although I try to do "normal" things , I get exhausted very quickly after mental or physical things. This must be a combination of getting older and my 2013 stroke. My stroke after-effects cause me to be giddy almost all my waking hours. This is a "hidden disability" that few can see or understand.

As I have said many times, never judge a book by its cover. Many people suffer in silence whilst casual observers can see nothing wrong and mistake exhaustion for laziness.

Exhaustion - NOT amateur radio

There is world of difference (I have found out the hard way) between tiredness and exhaustion. With tiredness, you feel you need sleep to feel better. With exhaustion, you feel totally drained even though you may have had a good sleep. This may just be old age or a result of my 2013 stroke. I tend to feel exhausted now far more than I did.

If someone, e.g. with MS, tells you they feel exhausted, they are not just tired; they are EXHAUSTED.

Tiredness and exhaustion - NOT amateur radio

What is the difference? When you are tired a good sleep usually makes things better. With exhaustion you still feel totally drained even after a good sleep. 

Exhaustion and giddiness - NOT amateur radio

It is extremely hard to get other people to understand my giddiness and exhaustion. 

This is an after-effect of my 2013 stroke.  All the time when awake, I feel giddy. Much of the time I feel exhausted. Not tired, totally exhausted. Any exertion leaves me very, very, tired. Many people think this is laziness. It is not.

In the past, I quite liked driving. These days, even short journeys are stressful. I guess my reaction times are longer and my brain makes all driving seem 20mph faster. Also, it is as if my brain is in overload when driving: all the time I am thinking of potential hazards.

Outwardly I look totally fine, much like many people who have MS or similar conditions. This is in some ways a good thing. In other ways it is hard, as people just do not understand.

My voice is also poor: it is very hard repeating myself as others do not understand what I am saying.

Exhaustion: stroke or old age? - NOT amateur radio

Later this year I turn 70. In 2013 I had a stroke. At the moment 15 minutes of physical work leaves me totally drained. I am unsure if this is as a result of my stroke or just me getting older. Either way, it is no fun. In many ways I feel so much older than, say, 5 years ago. I try to remain positive, but it is hard.

Profound exhaustion - NOT amateur radio

Since my stroke almost 3 years ago I have suffered from bouts of profound exhaustion after doing physical or mental work for more than about 20 minutes. No-one and I really do mean no-one seems to get it including medics, my wife, friends etc. They all say how well I look and assume I am fine.

Well, I am definitely not right! No matter what, this exhaustion is profound and quite unlike anything I've known before. It is not tiredness, just a feeling of utter exhaustion. After a short rest I am fine again.

To be honest this gets me down. As hard as I try, this never seems to go away. I hate it. In an ideal world I would rest more, but I know this is impossible.

I have great sympathy for others who have hidden disabilities: people may look fine on the outside but feel dreadful inside. This is how I am a lot of the time. Not always mind you. There are better days and times.

Lawn cut - totally exhausted!

Just cut the rear lawn, well 90% of it, and I am totally exhausted. This is a result of my brain bleed. I still get very exhausted doing any physical activity. A year ago it was all so different.

Please may I get back to health again soon. Amateur radio building/field work is all but impossible at the moment as I am still so clumsy with my hands. I hate depending on others as much as I do.