This was on LinkedIn yesterday. The advice given may be helpful.
"My husband passed away unexpectedly last year on his 43rd birthday.There is nothing more jarring than returning to work when your world has fallen apart. 10 months on, I've thought a lot about how many of us must be facing unimaginable hardship whilst pushing through the day-to-day grind. Grief in the workplace can be tough to navigate - not only for the person grieving but for those wanting to support them.We could all be better at it, if we knew how. These are a few things that have helped me, and may help someone you know:
1. Acknowledge their loss/person/special occasions - you may be worried about saying the wrong thing, but saying nothing at all could make the person feel worse. Mentioning their person isn't going to remind them of their loss - they're thinking of them all the time anyway. Acknowledge how challenging holidays, birthdays and anniversaries must be without them.
2. Offer support - there are countless challenges that accompany a loss and the life admin is enormous! Anything that can lighten the load at work is helpful. Offer to grab them a coffee or lunch, ask if they'd like to go for a walk to get away from their desk and if you work from home, a virtual check-in could do the trick. And if you don't know how to help, simply ask 'how can I support you?'
3. Avoid platitudes, comparisons and advice - everyone's grief journey is different and even if you've suffered a loss yourself, please don't compare! Don't tell them 'time will heal' or 'it will get better'. Often grief feels worse as time passes, especially in those early weeks, months or years. Advice can be well-meaning but know that there is no solution or 'getting over' grief.
4. Language is important - asking 'how are you?' or 'how was your weekend?" can be superfluous. Instead, you could ask, 'how has the transition back to work been?', or 'would you like some company/a chat?' In grief, everything can become amplified including common words/phrases that may come across as insensitive.
5. Avoid commenting on the grieving person's appearance - if they have lost/put on weight, or look tired they are well aware. If you're worried they're not eating then offer to cook them a meal or gift them a voucher for a food delivery service. If you're worried about their health, invite them along for a walk or exercise class. If they look tired, acknowledge how hard it must be to sleep when grieving.
6. Praise their effort - getting up each day, showering and getting dressed is a huge feat in itself, let alone showing up for work each day and interacting with people. If they are caring for children or elderly/sick parents on top of that, the weight of this can be excruciating alongside their grief. Acknowledge how they show up despite this and tell them you're proud of them.
7. If nothing else, be kind!"
