A nurse who worked in neurology at Addenbrookes hospital today described
me as, "a walking miracle", but I'd settle for my old self please!
Although I still
feel I'm living "on the edge" each day, I am thankful to be here, but I
wish I had no problems with my voice, swallow, felt less giddy, and got
less tired. My fine motor skills are still far from right.
In many
ways I am lucky and I could have been left much worse. Today I have to
adapt to the new "me" and hope things still improve, albeit slowly.
Everyone says that I look so well. This, in many ways, makes it worse as
they all assume I am well, when I really am not at all well inside. I
have mentioned this before, but in some ways a visible form of
disability might be easier. At least people would know one is not well.
Imagine you are living in a fog: this is how I have felt for over 2 years. It gets you down, no matter how hard you try. When I drive it takes all my concentration. Life is hard and I wish this on no-one.
17 Jan 2016
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