2014 FaceBook Memory - NOT amateur radio

One of my FaceBook memories today was this photo of me shortly after 3.5 months in hospital following a brain bleed. 

The hedge behind me is now fully mature and much bigger. 

Although still giddy all of the time and with a poor voice, I am otherwise in good shape. The Zimmer frame soon went! 

For several months I had most of my food and drink via a peg directly into my stomach. For many years now I have been able to eat and drink normally. Until you cannot, you don't realise how eating and drinking normally is so important. In hospital I used to dream about simple food!

7 years ago - NOT amateur radio

Seven years ago I spent 3.5 months in hospital following a brain bleed. 

This photo shows me with my younger son and one of our grandchildren in 2013 on a rare visit home. I went in hospital in September and came out in January and lost 1.5 stone. 

Looking back I was so lucky. I could so easily have died or suffered horrendous disabilities. Apart from feeling giddy all the time and my poor voice, I am mostly fine.

Gardening - NOT amateur radio

This afternoon was fine and dry, so it was a chance to do a bit more gardening.  Because of my 2013 brain bleed, I soon get very exhausted and this was the case today. I managed a couple of plants and dug in some flower bed edging, by which time I was so tired. What has changed is that I soon recover. In the past I would be totally exhausted for hours but within 15 minutes I was out with the hose.

This last few weeks I do seem a little bit better.  Although I still get tired I don't seem to be "done in" totally. Although I still have to take just sips, I do seem to be able to drink more thin liquids. Progress is slow, but I think I can still see progress.

My poor voice (stroke)

For reasons I don't understand, my brain is unable (at present) to communicate properly to my (fully working) voice box. My voice box was checked with a camera (down my nose) a few months ago.

Although my speech sounds OK to me (clarity and loudness) apparently it is a whisper and hard to understand. All the time I feel breathless.I am told this is all a result of my brain bleed and it will, in the end, recover. I have to be patient! 

Although I can manage short speech periods on the air (VHF/UHF UKAC sessions, for 30-60 minutes and on our Monday 2m net for similar times) I find voice QSOs effortful, hence why I use WSPR and other digital modes a lot right now. Hopefully thing will improve in 2015.

My brain

I am still puzzled by my brain functioning.

Most mental functions seem fine, but when I do an email or blog post I seem slow to spot errors like spelling mistakes or missing full stops. Usually, I try to correct errors before sending, but looking back I still spot mistakes that I've missed. It is as if my brain needs far more time to actually see the mistake. This must be yet another stroke related thing. Driving seems absolutely fine: I am not giddy and I feel in good control.

If you see blog errors please tell me. I want to correct the errors and know when my brain is not doing its job right.

Stroke update

I had my cerebellum brain bleed (stroke) in Sept 2013 and in all honesty I was expecting to be fully fit again by now. I think my wife and I had no idea how serious this was and just how long recovery was going to take. Nearly 15 months on it is a mixed picture.

All my limbs, my eyes and ears and my cognitive functions seem to work OK. But I still have poor liquid swallow, poor speech, giddiness when walking and I tire on the least physical exertion such as washing dishes or gardening. My stamina is better than it was but it is still far from right.

I am still clumsy and amateur radio construction is still out of the question, which I find very hard to accept. This, and my speaking problem, is why I currently use WSPR so much.

I am told a full recovery is probable, but this will take time. This last year as been very hard. I sincerely hope 2015 will be a better year.

In summary, I have felt old suddenly. Until last year I felt as if I would last forever. Now I feel far more vulnerable.

Blogging errors

Please pardon my blogging errors. On most posts I make at least one spelling or grammar error, but I try to correct the mistakes as soon as I notice. Maybe it is an after-effect of my brain bleed that I react too slowly? Sometimes it is the next day (or later) before I notice the error. Although a lot better than I was, I still feel giddy walking and I tire easily. Slowly, oh so slowly, things are getting a little easier, but this is far longer than I ever expected. Patience!